Sunday, May 2, 2010

Cheap Gardening Lament

At the end of the movie Devil's Advocate, the devil smiles into the camera and says something like, "Vanity - definitely my favorite sin." I think this may be the motto of many gardening supply companies as well. It is the number one reason it is so hard to be a cheap gardener (closely followed by laziness, jealousy, and greed.)

I don't just want my garden to produce as much food as possible as cheaply as possible, I want it to look good doing it! I want it to make the first melon, the biggest tomato. I want to have pretty cedar boards wrapped around gorgeous, peat-moss based, hummus-rich, well-draining, dark, crumbly soil. I want it to have a pretty little fence around it, artsy trellises covered in lush, dark green leaves poking their heads over the top. A nice, peaceful water feature in the middle would be good. And solid, level paving stones throughout. Cleverly designed, built-in season extending features would be good. And a greenhouse so I can wow my neighbors with my green thumb year-round.

Supposedly there are a lot of people starting new gardens right now because they hope to save money during the recession. I feel for you, new people. A lot of the advice you're going to get from books, magazines, TV, and the internet will be bad. Just keep in mind that none of those gardeners have to actually save money - their bread and butter comes from advertisements, not peas and carrots.

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